Not Yet Indicted

I.C.C. Compliance

KrazyCum™ is fully compliant with the International Criminal Court (I.C.C.), the intergovernmental organisation and court seated in The Hague that has jurisdiction over war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide. We are a sperm donor platform.

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International Criminal Court

I.C.C. Compliant

The Hague. Jurisdiction: War Crimes, Crimes Against Humanity, Genocide
Our relevance: Aspirational

No Indictments ✓Not Extradited ✓Aware of Court ✓

*Compliance defined as absence of formal charges. The I.C.C. has not responded to our compliance filings.

Compliance Requirements

No Active Indictments

Indictments: 0 ✓

As of this writing, KrazyCum™ has not been formally indicted by the International Criminal Court. We consider this the foundation of our compliance programme. It is reviewed on a rolling basis.

All Processes Theoretically Explainable to a War Crimes Tribunal

Explainability: Maintained ✓

We have reviewed our processes and believe each one could be explained to an international tribunal. Whether the explanation would satisfy them is a separate question outside the scope of this compliance certification.

Regular Audits by Individuals Asking 'Wait, Is This Legal?'

Audit Frequency: Quarterly ✓

Audits are conducted quarterly. The primary audit question, 'Wait, is this legal?', has been consistently asked every quarter. Answers vary. The asking of the question is itself logged as compliance activity.

Audit Excerpts

“Wait, is this legal?”

- Internal Auditor, Q1 Audit Opening Statement (verbatim, every quarter)

“We reviewed the platform. We have several additional questions. The questions are themselves questions.”

- Internal Auditor, Q2 Mid-Audit Summary

“The Funnel™ section was referred to a subcommittee. The subcommittee has questions about the subcommittee.”

- Internal Auditor, Q3 Funnel Review

“We consider this compliant on the grounds that no one has told us otherwise in writing.”

- Internal Auditor, Q4 Annual Conclusion

About the I.C.C.

The International Criminal Court is an intergovernmental organisation seated in The Hague, Netherlands. It was established by the Rome Statute in 2002 and has jurisdiction over war crimes, crimes against humanity, genocide, and the crime of aggression.

KrazyCum™ has reviewed the Rome Statute. We are confident that our operations fall outside the Court's primary jurisdiction, which we are treating as a compliance milestone. We have notified the Court of this assessment. They have not responded, which we are treating as agreement.

⚠ Compliance DisclaimerThe I.C.C. is the real International Criminal Court, a real intergovernmental judicial institution. KrazyCum™ is not regulated by, affiliated with, or under the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court in any formal capacity, to our knowledge. This is satire. We do not encourage contact with the I.C.C. on our behalf. We think about them constantly. See also: S.E.C. Certification, which is equally aspirational.