About Us
Founded during a late-night brainstorming session that legal advisors strongly advised against.
Our Origin Story
KrazyCum™ exists to merge the Krazy with those who desire the insane cream. Full anonymity may be promised, but never fully achieved.
Our founding team convened under fluorescent lighting, fueled by Edwyn Collins, cider, and beer. Legal counsel was present. Legal counsel was ignored. This remains our primary founding document.
Our Mission
"Connect adventurous women with the most remarkably unsuitable donor candidates imaginable, while maintaining a paper trail so airtight it could survive a congressional hearing."
- KrazyCum™ Mission Statement, Appendix A, Subsection 3.1, Clause (b)
What We Uphold
Zero Accountability
Legally speaking, this is satire. Philosophically speaking, also satire. Practically speaking, we have paperwork.
Maximum Transparency
We are transparent about everything, except where being transparent would be confusing, which is most places.
Excessive Documentation
Seriously. So many forms. You cannot imagine. We have forms about forms. There is a form to request more forms.
Our Team
Former Compliance Interns
Highly motivated, entirely unsupervised.
Amateur Psychologists
Degrees pending. Opinions not.
The Hivemind
Collectively operational. Individually, less so. Decisions emerge. Nobody takes credit.