Contact
Have questions, concerns, or subpoenas? Reach out to our Compliance-First Communication Team™. All messages recorded. Some understood.
General Inquiries
For questions that are neither urgent nor particularly interesting. We will read them.
Legal Concerns
Escalated at once. Our PRU is on standby. Please describe your concern without using the word 'liability.'
Subpoenas & Summons
Process servers should submit via this form. In person service discouraged. We are rarely in.
Existential Questions
Forwarded to our philosophy intern, who is very enthusiastic but not yet qualified.
Send a Message
Please select the nature of your enquiry so we can route it to the correct department (or department equivalent).
Submission of this form constitutes formal communication. Response times are estimates. "Business days" as defined in our Terms & Conditions, which you should read.